Wednesday, April 15, 2009

‘I 8 Skool’ by ‘Mr Read’ £8.99

To order the book contact

Book Outline

1. Introduction
Why teach? Why not teach?


2. Gulls regurgitating fish
How the training is organised by ‘consultants’, we’re marked down as an “intensive support” school. I feel like walking out.

I inherit a classroom from another teacher and find drawers full of unmentionable things…

4. The Line in the Sand
Reality hits me like a Kirkby Kiss, tests every six weeks, will I be the only one to speak out?

5. The Silence of the Lambs
I am the only one to speak out. How can people stay silent, or worse still agree with tests every six weeks?

6. Has anyone got an INTELLIGENT question?
Some of the strange visitors we get - Mr Crabtree with his wildlife slides, Mr Cuddles who barely got out alive.

7. Creativity and the advance stages of narcolepsy
More creativity in lessons, but… we have to fill in reams of paper to prove it.

8. Health Fascism
I’m all in favour of healthy eating and hate McDonald’s, but banning sweets?

9. Teacher training and the class from hell
Why do student teachers carry round such large files, what the hell are we trying to produce robots or teachers?

10. School Newsletters
Chavs v Posh

11. Extracting the Bodily Fluids
A premiership football club organises some after school activities for our ‘gifted and talented’. They want teachers to attend – without pay!

12. Better Grammar
How to bore children to death from an early age.

13. Unity is strength?
Why are unions so weak and ineffectual?

14. My child is a genius…
Parents’ evening.

15. Speaking VERY LOUDLY
Why is our country so crap at languages? Should we teach it in primary schools?

16. Inspector Read Investigates
When Peter’s ball goes missing I’m forced to turn detective, but D.C. Smith gets a confession…

17. Mr Motivator
Why is training so useless?

18. The aroma of aftershave
A new literacy consultant with a ‘fresh approach’ doesn’t manage to hack it.

19. Where is the Roman soldier?
Where would primary schools be without the Christmas play?


20. I’m a celebrity
Some of the teachers who could appear.

21. Mimicking silly walks
The General Teaching Council. The organisation that is there to register and discipline teachers. It only makes headlines when teachers are sacked – cue tabloid headlines ‘Teacher Found Drunk in Charge’.

22. Trusting teachers
How observations of lessons are killing teaching – micro targets for each lesson.

23. Writing with Stephen King
A good lesson using Stephen King’s book ‘How To Write’ the detective stories we produce.

24. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist
Some of the grants, awards, schemes and fellowships I’ve managed to use to keep me sane.

25. The special education needs panel
They refuse a statement for one of our children, how the system is failing SEN children.

26. Cause related marketing
Tesco and other vouchers, why I hate collecting them, cutting them out and all the free publicity.

27. Dear Dairy
I organise a lesson about Anne Frank based on my visit to Amsterdam. All the children get a well-designed booklet to write in…Dear Dairy. Taxi!

28. Losing the will to live
Another ‘initiative’ is changed.

29. Take me to your subject leader
New proposals for ‘subject leaders’ and a file with 25 different items to file.

30. The SEF
The School Evaluation Form or management gobbledygook.

31. Zen and the art of play ground duty
The job that most teachers can begin to hate, yes it’s Saving Private Ryan again as chaos reigns.

32. Dame Edna and Madge
An Ofsted inspector takes the PE training day with her silent friend.

33. Hightown Park
Our local secondary school in special measures for 4 years, as part of my MA I interview the teachers.

34. The Morecambe and Wise dance
Why do so few people apply to become headteachers?

35. It’s ‘ot
Dean doesn’t remember much about the Egyptians.

36. Oversold and underused
Why ICT is not an each way bet, the book that all ICT teachers should read.

37. Morsels for Godzilla
Ofsted due another visit soon – the ‘light touch’?

38. School motto
Different mottoes that schools could use or not use.


39. I have a dream…
My visit to America and there are plenty of scary parallels with England.

40. White flight
Chicago and the unequal education system.

41. Blockading the streets
How testing is killing enjoyment in America, thoughts on my fortnight in America.

42. Julia Roberts and a ‘bad hair day’
We get £25,000 to make a film about Victorian times in our locality.

43. Losing my religion
Why should the Church of England that will close in 2050 (based on falling attendance figures) get millions of pounds for faith schools?

44. Stress week
Why is teaching so stressful?

45. The rolled up football programme…
We host a visit for our Irish school and visit the Beatles Museum, the Mersey Ferry and Anfield.

46. Nobody Drowned
We attend the school swimming gala, none of our children drown.

47. Brideshead Revisited
The great divide in our education system, I’m on holiday in Sedbergh looking at their sports facilities.

48. Links with secondaries
How not to do it. Why is it that there is so little contact? My scheme to involve them comes to a grinding halt. I teach a lesson and the teacher doesn’t turn up.

49. Teach what you’re interested in
The Titanic - how you can use film to interest children.

50. The inspectors call
Ofsted finally arrive.

51. Being sworn at by mega rich pop stars
Why I hate Comic Relief.

52. Is beginning to…
What school reports really mean…

53. Blackpool and the end of the pier
We visit the Tower and the brilliant circus; shame the town doesn’t match up.

54. The class of ‘97
What happened to my former pupils?


55. Conclusion
The solution is to trust and invest in teachers.


Nice one Richard, Ernie
Wrong conclusion. The solution, as demonstrated at Summerhill School, is to trust and invest in pupils.
Remember 'Ranjit has 5 pens'? He/she disappeared and reappeared as Ranjitreturns. This has also had to go. Some people don't understand critisism and debate.
To read his/her farewell go to the comments on your original mention, 22 July 2007.
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This book sounds bloomin' fab. After 3 years studying education, I really wish I'd seen this before. Would have certainly helped with my coursework!
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I 8 Skool’ by ‘Mr Read’ £8.99 <-- that's what i was looking for
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