Friday, April 20, 2007

Another Planet

San Francisco is famous for being full of odd balls and fruit cakes. I hadn't really experienced it before today... I was gagging for a cup of coffee, so I dived into the nearest cafe. Now let's just say in most corners of the planet the service can be tardy or even brusque, but they do let you drink your coffee in peace. I went up to the counter.

'Welcome!' (a broad smile)


'What is your name?'


'We have a question of the day.'

'Oh really?'

'What do you think the meaning of life is?'

By now I was ready to be recruited by a crazy bunch of wackos who believed in UFOs and the mystic cosmos.

(Nervously) 'I'll need time to think...'

'What would you like to order?'

'Just an ordinary coffee.'

'That's cool we're a vegan restaurant so we don't serve dairy milk but you can have hazlenut milk or walnut milk. We grow them and press the milk everyday and the coffee is fully organic.'

(Thinks - Oh My God, I just want a coffee)

'I'll have hazlenut.'

'Thank you for choosing our establishment. Your coffee will arrive shortly.'

I sit down but can't escape.

'We have some cards on the table which may help your karma. I love working here.' (Smiles broadly)

They're the type of inane comments which you get in 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. I go through them reading intently trying to blend in.

After a ten minute wait the coffee arrives and surprisingly it tastes OK. I finish and try to slink out.

'Goodbye, may your life be joyous and fruitful.' (Broad smile)

When I visit the nearby school the staff fall about laughing.

'They're on another planet, we'll get you some tacos.'

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Wow. You're quite the drama queen.
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