Thursday, September 06, 2007

 
A man arrives home…

The Conservatives really do have a problem with education. It’s not so much that New Labour has stolen their clothes – league tables, SATs, Ofsted, academies. I see it more as a kind of Kafkaesque drama.

A man arrives home and goes to put the key in the door, it won’t fit. He knocks on the door, his wife answers it but she stares blankly at him, she doesn’t recognise him. Hearing raised voices the children come to the door but see him only as a stranger. He rushes into the house, there is the old familiar furniture and ornaments. He picks up a photograph, who is that impostor with his wife and children? Running up to the bedroom all his clothes have been removed. In this weird parallel universe someone has completely stolen his identity.

The Conservatives have resorted to barmy ideas dreamed up on the back of a cigar packet, the latest - keep children back in Year 6 if they don’t achieve Level 4.

You can just imagine the consequences of having some embittered 12 year olds constantly being reminded, ‘you’re ‘ere cos you’re thick’. The impact on class sizes of thousands being kept back? Er… we haven’t quite worked that one out yet.

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